Baby you can touch iPad.
Experience you’ve never had.
Baby you can touch iPad,
And maybe you’ll love it.

He said in his mind it’s all just the same.
I said iPad shows those tablets are lame.
A desktop OS is all very fine,
But for a touch UI it’s not designed.

Baby you can touch iPad.
Experience you’ve never had.
Baby you can touch iPad,
And maybe you’ll love it.

I told him users could start right away.
Thousands of touch apps the very first day.
Apple’s not perfect, plans could fall apart,
But with their touch OS it’s a great start.

Baby you can touch iPad.
Experience you’ve never had.
Baby you can touch iPad,
And maybe you’ll love it.

You have a lot to say; opinion is strong.
But no one reads a thing that’s over 10 words long.
You better make it quick, or soon you’ll be gone.
So Tweet it, Tweet it.

Tweet it! Tweet it!
Keep it short and folks will read it.
Show ‘em how pithy you have become;
Anything long and our brains go numb.
Just Tweet it, just Tweet it.

You wanna talk about a great thing you’ve heard,
But you must think in characters and not in words.
We don’t have time for sentences; don’t be so absurd.
So Tweet it, just Tweet it.

If you can keep it short then you will do well.
You might get lots of followers who think you’re swell.
With luck you might even make the SUL.
So Tweet it, Tweet it.

Tweet it! Tweet it!
All blog posts are so conceited.
Don’t put the effort in being distinct;
Much more important you be succint.
So Tweet it, Tweet it…

(From an idea by Jason Kottke. With all due respect to Michael Jackson and Twitter.)

When I was 10 you scared me some.
Always wanted to please.
Reveled in your praise.
Laughed at your jokes.

As a teenager we argued.
Your ideas were so “old.”
Your habits were embarrassing.
Sometimes I felt ashamed.

In young manhood our differences grew.
Politically, socially, opposite ends.
It was always black and white with you.
There was never any gray.

As a father, I began to see it.
How did you deal with eight?
Your quiet confidence spoke volumes.
Your patience nearly infinite.

Now that I’m older, it’s clear.
Never understood what you went through.
Didn’t realize what you gave up.
I see it all now.

You’re in a better place.
Hope the Angels laugh at your jokes.
Hope Notre Dame wins every game up there.
Hope they have a good stereo for you, too.

So long, pop. Talk to you again next year.
I’ll catch up to you soon enough.
R.I.P. Richard Arthur Reestman
February 2, 1921 – October 10, 1999

Some say it’ll be a netbook;
That’s what Chinese papers proclaim.
Their track record has been spotty at best
But we believe them all the same…

Read the rest of this article on theAppleBlog >>

When I was five I was afraid of you.
You were so big.
Seemed so strict.
Mom was the “nice” one.

When I was 10 you scared me some.
Always wanted to please.
Reveled in your praise.
Laughed at your jokes.

As a teenager we argued.
Your ideas were so “old.”
Your habits were embarrassing.
Sometimes I felt ashamed.

In young manhood our differences grew.
Politically, socially, opposite ends.
It was always black and white with you.
There was never any gray.

As a father, I began to see it.
How did you deal with eight?
Your quiet confidence spoke volumes.
Your patience was nearly infinite.

Now that I’m older, it’s clear.
Never understood what you went through.
Didn’t realize what you gave up.
I see it all now.

I guess you’re in a better place.
Hope the angels laugh at your jokes.
Hope Notre Dame wins every game up there.
Hope they have a good stereo for you, too.

So long, pop. Talk to you again next year.
I’ll catch up to you soon enough.
R.I.P. Richard Reestman
February 2, 1921 – October 10, 1999

I don’t mean to write off living
As meaningless or some such.
It’s just that life’s what we make it,
And most of us don’t make it much.

It’s got some real cool graphics, will wonders never cease?
As for the vital features you need, they’re in the next release.

This software is very secure, even running as a beta.
And if we’re wrong we gotta ask: Did you really need your data?

That behavior’s not a feature; it’s more of an elective.
So later when it doesn’t work you can’t say it’s defective.

Our support staff works all day to cut out bugs like a cancer.
Unless you call or email us; those we never answer.

Our developers are razor sharp and talented, not losers.
Too bad they don’t consider software something for end users.

Our QA staff is dedicated, they test everything twice.
If they’d ever test new code we add their results would even be nice.

Our account managers are tops and know exactly what to do.
Ignore your constant whining, then go out and toss back a few.

Our product managers are dreaming up new versions constantly.
Without them who the heck would spend your annual maintenance fee?

Our manual’s well-written; it’s clear and easy to follow.
I’d praise it even more but what I’ve already said I can’t swallow.

If training’s what you need you’ll find our course prices are low.
And when the class concludes then you won’t know what we don’t know.

Our salespeople are specialists at closing every deal.
If clients believe the pitch they give that’s their tough luck, we feel.

Our lawyers work to ensure the company has no errant exposure.
So if we differ on contract terms our legal stance is “bend over.”

Our marketing group works very hard. There is no finer PR.
In fact, it’s all so nicely done even we don’t know who we are.

Our management team’s experienced; at business they’re no novice.
So don’t concern yourselves at all with their pictures at the Post Office.

Our cash position’s excellent. Our balance sheet is sound.
Investments in Enron and WorldCom stock we’re sure will soon rebound.

Our software’s always improving, of that you need not fear.
Versions 2.Little and 2.Late are both due out next year.

You can bet we’ll put forth effort to ensure your happiness.
But whether we can pull that off is anybody’s guess.

Yes our software’s a disaster. That much is obvious.
But you’re the ones who bought it so you’re even dumber than us!